MY MEMORIES
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
i absolutely have no idea wad's happening to me these days... i have been like too lazy to move my bum... yes! too lazy to even get out of my position and walking down to get water... tt's how lazy im... i love to eat e food tt i like n den slack in e same position n not do anything e whole day... even thou i know i need to prob start doing proj n stuff but i have been putting it off even thou e shows are like boring me out! ergh!! when m i ever gonna change?? plus e recent raining n sunny thing has been kinda irritating me... somehow when i feel like or prob ask myself if i shd jus get out of e hse, it jus rains... yes... and tt spoils my whole plan again... yups... enuf of my ranting!
i realise tt here's e place whr many pple do have access to n thrfore i cannot say some of my deepest darkest thots... so now i gotta find another outlet... hmmmm... whr shd i do it??
but in any case, this 2 days i have been having some funny thots... thots of jus seriously being selfish.. yes... me being selfish but of cux hurting myself at e same time... but i seriously dun even know shd i pull e stunt or shd i not.... i mean on 1 hand, im scared n reluctant to pull tt stunt cux if i ever did it pretty much means no return liao but if i dun, e pent up fears and feelings and my fear of getting hurt eventually might jus get a little bit too out of hand which kinda explains my little awry actions for e past 2 days... i seriously hope nobody understands this freaking para tt i have jus typed cux if anyone did, i jus pray hard tt it's e pple who i can talk to.... and tt's like erm... let's see... my sis (okies... better not), e holy mothers (no... they dun have my blog add), yiwen n xiaoshi (yes... okies them)... still got some others which i shall not really list alr... hahas... im too lazy to type... =P
im so scared... scared of so many things... i wonder shd i jus like visit tmr... i duno... c tmr how i feel cux i really do wanna c him but den e time... i dun want to like sat like tt tio again in which i haven really talked abt it... n today for a small fraction of time... yeaps... i guess i really do need to talk it out in person but den i know nothing will come out of it also so yeaps... for me, if i dun get to e core of things i dun really feel safe but things can't always go your way rites?? i seriously duno liao... can someone pls help me??
n okies... Brandon is sick... i seriously hope tt he feels better aft tonite's rest n med n all... tt's also one of e reasons y i dun really wanna bring up funny conversations too... cux he's not feeling well n i dun really wanna irritate him with my crazy conversational topics... im also kinda falling sick too but den i guess aft sweating it out i feel way much better... hope tt tmr will b better!! or prob hope tt tmr it wun rain or wad... cux i really feel like visiting... hopefully im welcomed!! Ooo yes... me n my sudden urges... hahas... let's hope tt tis urge will last... or mayb not since im so freaking lazy!! hahas...
``Your name ; 12:38 AM
....................................
